The Parent's Story
/The Mother’s Story
My hospital experience gives me anxiety just to think back on it. It’s filled with highs and great lows. It’s full of physical and emotional stress that I never expected. The worst part for me was after I had my baby. I had doctors yell at me. They gave me more instructions than I could handle given that I had just delivered my first baby and had just had major surgery. Toward the end of my stay, I didn’t feel safe. I felt that the nurses and doctors did not want to give me the best care nor wanted what was best for me. Even though there were nurses that I did trust, the nurses that were pushy and unfriendly made me feel as though I couldn’t trust anyone. Most of the doctors seemed like they didn’t want to be there.
During my stay, I had about three magical people that helped me, but every day felt like a battle. Even the day I was discharged made me uncomfortable, I felt like I was walked out as a criminal. After having a C-section, I was not offered a wheelchair, and I was barely congratulated for having my first baby. It was a cold atmosphere and I felt like my desire to be with my baby and breastfeeding was a crime. A time of celebration felt like a war that I never want to have again. I thank God for my baby and sprinkle of good people that gave me brief hope that I wasn’t crazy. To think that everyone else made me feel that way. As a first-time mother, they made me completely overwhelmed and they made me feel unfit to be a mother. I cried almost every day, but not from the pain of surgery. It was from the pressure of the hospital’s staff. My blood pressure was great during my entire pregnancy until I checked out of the hospital.
The saddest part of everything is that I took an initial tour of the hospital and was so very excited to have my baby there. The person who gave me the tour was great. But now after having the experience I always look at the hospital with such pain and anxiety, feeling like I have to be on guard. No one should have gone through what I went through. I thank God for my support system; my mom and my best friend, who is a nurse who could explain everything to me. Thank you to my family who could hear for me when I was pumped up with pain medicine and could not handle or retain the nurses instructions.
The hospital was an emotional roller coaster. In one day, I could have a great experience and a terrible experience depending on the people. Some clearly cared and some clearly didn’t and wanted to make it hard. Unfortunately, the crazy stressful experiences outweighed the good ones.
The Father’s Story
As a father you want your experience for the mom & baby to be pleasant. In all of my years of life I’ve never heard or seen such neglect to a pregnant woman.
I made it to your facility on 9/9 at about 7 pm, but before my arrival, I already had some real concerns - and once I got there, I had even more concerns. The mom was admitted on Tuesday, 9/3, to be induced. By 9/5, she hadn’t opened up any further – I was able to confirm these things by speaking with the mother to be by phone & through text. She received Pitocin & a balloon to open her womb on Thursday, 9/5 and was told the inducing levels should increase by the dosage every thirty minutes. Midway that evening, she was told to stop the inducing because the doctor had to go and do a C-section for another patient and he didn’t want her to have the baby vaginally while he was gone. This is a problem for me because while ALL LIFE is precious why would you chance the inducing success by stopping it midway? And more than that, why wasn’t there coverage so that the inducing wouldn’t have to stop midway? Creating a system and structure considering all variables in business is necessary so there are NO GAPS.
On Thursday, 9/5, about 1 am, they tell the mother to be that they’ll start her back up on Pitocin soon. Two hours later, about 3 am, she’s back on Pitocin, but she’s been in pain all night & there is no excuse for this negligence. The next morning, they put a balloon inside her to open her cervix and they begin to increase Pitocin levels. By 4 pm her cervix is at 6 cm, but not there yet (10 was the goal). She ended up getting a C-Section about 5:45 pm and the baby was born at 6:13 pm on 9/6.
Upon my arrival on 9/9 at 7 pm, I was made aware of more negligence relating to sanitary issues with an eye protector and a bilirubin ray bed matting that a nurse didn’t want to clean, but rather thought to leave it there dirty was an option (NOW WHO DOES THAT?)! Anytime a baby’s bilirubin levels are higher than normal, the process is for them to stay under the lights. Let’s look at this, the mother has a C section and she’s very tender. Do you understand how difficult it can be to monitor a child under those lights? At no point did anyone say to the mother or the father to be mindful of our own exposure to those blue lights. The head & eye wrap that was used to cover the child’s eyes is very flimsy and doesn’t stay firmly, so imagine trying to keep that on an infant all night because exposure to the light could impact the child’s eyes. But nevertheless, we did our best to keep it there because following instructions has value for the health of the child. Over the course of three days, all I heard was keep the child under the lights.
The child was tested daily for bilirubin levels and this is where BEDSIDE MANNER was at its worst. My question to Shore is what ongoing training is provided to nurses and employees about HOW things are communicated? For example, on Tuesday, 9/10, they tested him early in the morning. In order to get the results, you have to keep asking, calling, and prompting the staff to get updates – this information is not offered. There was absolutely NO EMPATHY for what the mother had gone through and her desire to just know that things were getting better or that there would be some light at the end of the tunnel. Once his results came back, the nurse says, “It’s not at the right level yet, so just keep him under the lights.” The tones were not empathetic and the desire to put yourself in the patient’s shoes was not factored in. Communicating sensitivity to the fact that the mother has already been through a grueling process since Tuesday was not taken into consideration. Why is it that the doctors have to be prompted to come into the room by nurses, as opposed to them being available consistently?
From what I experienced, the nurses functioned as if they thought they were the doctor and the doctors seemed to be out of the loop. On Wednesday, 9/11 things got worst. That day, the child sat under the lights for at least 10 hours from 7 am – 8:30 pm. A bilirubin test was given at 5 pm and we received the results back at 7:45 pm, and the levels decreased 1 point from the previous day. This seemed ludicrous because he was under the lights consistently. We asked to see a doctor, he said he would test the child again and if the levels were good, then he would discharge the child. What is your process for debriefing a doctor before entering a room? Because the doctor said IF the levels were good, says he wasn’t sure, but he would agree to test him. We had to tell the doctor that test had just been done at 5 pm because he didn’t know – meaning the nurses never presented any information about the test that had been done at 5 pm on 9/11. This is totally unacceptable for a doctor to be uninformed by not checking the chart himself, not asking the nurse, or the parents about when the child was tested last. So, SHORE was willing to put a newborn through another bilirubin testing within a 3-hour period with no REGARD OR EMPATHY to how that impacts the child physically. WHO WOULD TAKE A CHANCE LIKE THAT? But SHORE was ok with doing that.
The doctor was then presented with the bilirubin results and saw the numbers went down and said the level was intermediate low to moderate risk. He said he would discharge the child on the premise that we bring him back in the morning to confirm the bilirubin levels continued to drop. The next day the child was brought back, and the levels were 14.4, so they went down even more when the child was allowed to go home.
Another concern is how we got to the place where we needed to talk to a doctor about the bilirubin results. A non-tactful communicating nurse said since mom signed her discharge papers on 9/11 to be released by 5 pm then NESTING with the child means ONLY THE MOM could be in the room and no one else, also the maximum time to nest is two days and after that, the child would be alone. So, you can imagine how I feel as the father being the told that I would not be able to stay! The nurse didn’t say just stay in the visiting, family room or say, “Let’s see what can be done because mom has been through a lot and we want the baby to have the best care.” NO! She just says dad can stay or MOM can stay. Now the child is breastfeeding, so that won’t work, and the nurses know this. The only milk the child drinks is breastfeeding milk, so that WON’T WORK. Where is the assessment of a patient’s situation before your staff communicates? This scenario required TACT & care which wasn’t provided, but SHORE did not care.
Fast forward. We’re approved to leave the hospital and we walked out, but NO WHEELCHAIR was offered to a mom who had just had a C-section. That’s unacceptable for it NOT TO BE OFFERED. We even ask the nurse who’s walking us out what’s the wheelchair policy and she says, “IT DEPENDS.” So, if the mother falls, THEN WHAT? I’ve never seen this type of heartless interaction with a human being in the hospital. While bringing the child downstairs, the nurse never offers to check to see if the child is in the car seat correctly, nor do they tell us this is mandatory to put the child in the car seat. The nurse did not come outside or even close to the revolving door, she walked away with no compassion. So, I’m to believe there’s no policy on how they handle safety leaving the hospital for the child either.
Another concern is that Shore’s process for interviewing candidates and dealing with complaints has MAJOR FLAWS. What is the expectation for how important your patients are and when feedback is given, what is the disciplinary process? I could never talk to people in any business the way these nurses communicated with no EMPATHY or tact. I would coach with term language if that were the case. I sat there for three days and the room charts were not updated. I had to call to get NEW LINEN DAILY. So many GAPS! Please understand that all a parent wants is to be spoken to and handled with care, and for their child to be handled with care. I would never refer or recommend anyone to come to SHORE, the experience was unsatisfactory and lacked care and empathy.
I saw a sign in the lobby that spoke about the importance to be KIND. Is kindness something that’s used only at the beginning of a relationship or should kindness be expressed from start to finish? I’m certain you understand the REAL ANSWER. Consistency is the KEY. Shore has no consistency; you have NO IDEA what attitude or disposition the staff will be from day to day. The mother and child were devalued and disrespected – on a high level. People Matter! This behavior from SHORE was simply unacceptable!
